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6/16/2014 Two "Angry no More" BBC interviews “Angry No More” is the topic of a lecture I have given several times this Spring throughout the UK and US, most recently in Stratford-upon-Avon, England. I offered insights for overcoming anger with forgiveness, bringing restoration and progress for those who have been trailed by a sad past or marked by abuse. I also talked about how I overcame post-traumatic symptoms and anger following childhood sexual abuse. The first essential to moving beyond anger is the admission to yourself that you can do it. Admitting to oneself that what the Bible says is true and provable – that man is made in the likeness of Spirit, of divine Love, and is spiritual and good, sets one free to live that spirituality and goodness without limits. Then we learn that no human circumstance is unredeemable or unhealable. Before the lecture, I spoke with two radio personalities, Justine Green and Annie Othen, on their respective BBC Coventry and Warwickshire radio programs. Both were enormously interested in the subject and in my experiences because new cases of long ago sexual abuse by public figures has been making the news practically weekly in the UK for quite some time. I am posting one of the two interviews here - a Sunday morning interview with Justine Green. In the interview I give an overview of my experiences and my motivation for forgiveness. The second interview occurred during the Thursday midday program. Due to the probing nature of Annie's questions which required more explicit answers than I usually give, I am not posting it on the blog. For most, more information is not necessary. Others however, may be helped by the "human interest" angle of the story and the fuller account. If you feel you would be helped by the second interview, you may contact me and request it to be sent to you directly. To be sure you don't miss something,
you can have new posts delivered to your email inbox. Simply subscribe in the sidebar. And if this post is meaningful to you, it will also be to others. Please share! You may also wish to: VISIT MY WEBSITE HOME PAGE FIND LINKS TO MY OTHER PUBLISHED CONTENT LISTEN TO A COLLECTION OF MY "YOUR DAILY LIFT" 2-MINUTE PODCASTS  What can you do when someone's unfair, unkind remarks cling to your thinking like a spider's web? Sticking like glue, unkind words can mess up one's peace of mind. Worse, they tend to give rise to indignant, defensive, self-righteous mental responses. They can keep us busy ruminating, making us miserable, solving nothing. I spent some days just like that. I had all kinds of mental conversations with someone who had hurled hurtful remarks at me. I mentally told her off, making it clear that I was right and she was wrong. It didn't help. I was simply feeding the hurt feelings. One day, while looking out my bedroom window, I noticed a dead leaf stuck to a spider web on one of the clapboards of my neighbor's house. Every time I passed by the window, I found myself checking to see if the heavy rain or strong wind had managed to dislodge that sad looking leaf. Nope. The strength of a single thread of spider web held it captive. Spider silk is widely regarded as the strongest natural fabric on earth, at least half as strong as a steel thread of the same thickness, and much more elastic. So it looked like, once caught in the web, that old dead leaf was really stuck. And so it would prove to be for a couple of months.  I likened my situation to that stuck dead leaf. Glued to hurt by a gossamer thread of unkind words, I was caught and getting nowhere. But as one who practices Christian Science, I eventually realized I could do something about this. I didn't need to stay stuck. I remembered the message Jesus gave to his disciples at the crucifixion: "Forgive them, for they know not what they do". (Luke 23:34) As I prayed about Jesus' words, I considered that this dear one possibly had no idea that her words had so disturbed me. And even if she did know, there was no real power in the sticky thread of the hurtful words. Christian Science teaches that the Christ, or God's spiritual influence, is the only true communicator. The real connection between God's children is through Christ-love. Nothing else sticks. It occurred to me that simply knowing this would allow me to forgive. And that is just what I did. I could then see the whole dispute was a sham. God's children aren't really in conflict. We were both innocent, loved, and loving in God's eyes. We are His own creation under His control. The Discoverer of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy, wrote of error as "deprived of its imaginary powers by Truth [God], which sweeps away the gossamer web of illusion" Science and Health, 403. That is what I had been suffering from - the sticky false belief, or error, that my friend and I could have anything but love pass between us. That gossamer web of illusion was swept right out of my thinking. I was free. And the next time I looked, the leaf was gone. The spider web on the clapboard, too, had lost its hold. Kay Olson is a Christian Science practitioner and teacher in the US. She welcomes your comments on her post below. If you would like to be in touch with her privately, she is happy to hear from you at kayolson@mindspring.com. To be sure you don't miss something,
you can have new posts delivered to your email inbox. Simply subscribe in the sidebar. And if this post is meaningful to you, it may also help others. Please share! You may also wish to: VISIT MY WEBSITE HOME PAGE FIND LINKS TO MY OTHER PUBLISHED CONTENT LISTEN TO A COLLECTION OF MY "YOUR DAILY LIFT" 2-MINUTE PODCASTS 6/4/2013 Coming soon: Angry no more Blog readers are always the first to know. A new lecture is under development. Keep your eyes peeled for the announcement on my LECTURES page of when the new lecture "Angry no more" will be available. Here is a synopsis: From hurt to health through forgiveness.This one hour lecture introduces Christian Science and healing through prayer for emotional, mental and physical issues stemming from unhealed anger. For those who have felt victimized by their circumstances, trailed by a sad past, or who are marked by abuse, this lecture offers insights that neutralize perpetual reaction to pain and anger. The spiritual reasoning through prayer, taught in Christian Science unlocks ones potential for peace, forgiveness, restoration and progress. This lecture presents the life of Mrs. Eddy in the context of her personal journey from grief and disappointment to the spiritual insight and healing that led to her becoming a world-renowned American religious reformer. It addresses common questions about Christian Science and its practice:
To be sure you don't miss something,
you can have new posts delivered to your email inbox. Simply subscribe in the sidebar. And if this post is meaningful to you, it may also help others. Please share! You may also wish to: VISIT MY WEBSITE HOME PAGE FIND LINKS TO MY OTHER PUBLISHED CONTENT LISTEN TO A COLLECTION OF MY "YOUR DAILY LIFT" 2-MINUTE PODCASTS 5/29/2013 Daily Lift - The giving equation Today's Daily Lift is a condensed version of a longer blog post from a year ago titled "Reflection, tithing and finding the right balance". Find it here: If you like what you see, please share the link with your friends, fans and followers!
A full-text version of this blog can be delivered to your email inbox. Please subscribe in the sidebar. You may also wish to: VISIT MY WEBSITE HOME PAGE READ MORE BLOG POSTINGS FIND A LIST OF MY OTHER PUBLISHED CONTENT LISTEN TO A COLLECTION OF MY "DAILY LIFT" 2-MINUTE PODCASTS  Some time back, I blogged on marriage and forgiveness. The post struck a chord with readers - thousands of readers, actually. So, I developed it into a Daily Lift. (The Daily Lift is a 2 minute free podcast, sharing inspiration and practical spirituality.) After hearing the Lift, an editor contacted me and asked if I would develop the marriage subject into a full length article for the Christian Science Sentinel. Hey, don't get me wrong. I am no marriage expert. But a few years of marriage and a whole lot of prayer have probably taught me a thing or two that could help smooth the path for someone else. So, if you are interested in my two cents on marriage, here you go! Love it? Please share.
Also, if you aren't yet a subscriber, a full-text version of the blog can be delivered to your email inbox. It's easy to sign up in the sidebar. You may also wish to: VISIT MY WEBSITE HOME PAGE FIND A LIST OF MY OTHER PUBLISHED CONTENT 7/16/2012 Radical Acts: Marriage and forgiveness I have wondered if Jesus was thinking of marriage when he answered Peter's question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus said, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven!" I have been married twice, to two lovely men. And the need to forgive seems to be a recurring theme. It isn't easy living in such close quarters in the workshop for spiritual growth called marriage. Someone is always watching. From important life decisions and family relations, to personal habits and attitudes, each one bears witness to their partner's progress as well as to the lessons they have yet to learn. Patience is helpful. Forgiveness is essential. A comment that appeared recently on the Radical Act of Jesus to Forgive 70 times 7 really helped me. Nancy wrote: "Someone told me once that the phrase "no condemnation" includes the meaning of nothing incurable. One day, as I was praying with the thought of radical love and forgiveness, it came to me that there was nothing that couldn’t be healed, because there was nothing that couldn’t be forgiven." Honestly, sometimes that is all it takes. To remember that nothing is incurable. No habit, no attitude, no behavior, no condition, no disease, no sin, is without an antidote in God's love. I think the pain of anger, at least for me, often stems from the frustration that I will have to put up with a problem forever. That it is incurable. Now I can't be sure of the source of Nancy's "no condemnation" reference, but I will take a shot that it comes from Romans 8, where Paul says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."
 Forgiveness is never really between two people anyway. The forgiver is ultimately making a pact with himself to release the hurt, the anger, the angst, over another's learning and growing curve. This release is empowering. It isn't dependent on anyone else. Maybe he/she messed up. Perhaps you did. It helps to know that nothing is incurable. The Spirit of life that we know as God assures that everyone will ultimately know and express their true nature as sons and daughters of God. No one will be allowed to miss the boat. And if it takes a little forgiveness every two minutes to help each other along the spiritual path to discover of who we really are, can't we do that for ourselves and for those we love? Love it? Please share.
Also, if you aren't yet a subscriber, a full-text version of the blog can be delivered to your email inbox. It's easy to sign up in the sidebar. You may also wish to: VISIT MY WEBSITE HOME PAGE READ MORE BLOG POSTS FIND A LIST OF MY OTHER PUBLISHED CONTENT 4/10/2012 Resurrecting the heart after a betrayal Nothing touches my heart in the Easter story like the disappointment and betrayal of Jesus by his closest friends. First, the disciples slept through their prayer watch in the garden of Gethsemane. Then Judas, whom Jesus loved, betrayed him to the Roman soldiers. And finally Peter and others abandoned him to spend those lonely, difficult hours on the cross without their support. I have found that, of the range of human difficulties, acts of betrayal can be particularly challenging to move beyond. Although insignificant in light of what Jesus suffered, many years passed before I stopped sucking in the halting breath of a sucker punch and stopped feeling an aching tightness mid-chest when I thought of a high school sweetheart whom I had discovered to be cheating on me with one of my best friends. Finding a way past the pain of betrayal often involves forgiveness. And forgiveness sometimes requires stepping out of well-worn thought paths and choosing to see others in a better light. That was certainly the case for me. In fact, it was Jesus' story that some years later helped me resurrect my heart from the dark, dank tomb of betrayal. The Bible Lesson I studied the week before Easter one year focused heavily on Judas' betrayal and Jesus' turning to God to forgive. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," were the healing words Jesus spoke from the cross on behalf of all his persecutors. It seemed so natural for such a Godlike man to make God's forgiveness of others his first line of attack in combating sin and pain. Forgiveness was a part of his makeup, a holy expression of the Christ. For him, it was the most natural thing.  But as I read the story, I felt overwhelmed, sunk under anger for what Judas had done. How could he so abuse Jesus' love? How could I ever forgive Judas? Anger stirred up all kinds of ugly feelings of the betrayal of trust, innocence and love. During that week before Easter, my thoughts became darker and darker with unhealed anger. I understood that the real message of Easter is not to be confined to the suffering of crucifixion, but it involves the resurrection to a renewed life and the ascension above the effects of sin, sorrow, pain and death. I longed to honor Jesus by my own resurrection from anger to forgiveness. So I prayed for a change of heart. I prayed to know how to love Judas and to forgive him. My prayers took me back to the Bible. The book of Lamentations covers the period of sharp, intense pain, anger and sadness immediately after the fall of Jerusalem. The shock over the event gradually fades into the chronic ache of captivity. I think the Jewish people's reaction to their world being turned upside-down are the same emotions that follow a betrayal. Jeremiah wrote,"My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord. Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me." (Lamentations 3:18-20) Yet even while laying bare this raw and anguished mental state, the prophet also offers a ray of hope. He lights a way out of perpetual suffering when he continues, "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness... Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens." (ibid. 3:21-13,41)  "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed." I realized that I didn't have to love Judas the betrayer. That is, I didn't have to stay within the frame of reference of Judas as a betrayer. But I could love the Judas that was not consumed by betrayal and hate - the Judas that God's mercies knew and loved and renewed every morning. I could exchange my sense of Judas the betrayer for the Judas that was resurrected from envy, hate, greed, remorse, guilt, and self-destruction, to repentance and progress, through the forgiveness, grace and ever-renewing mercies of the Christ, Truth. I could love the Judas who had progressed on under the renewable mercies of divine Love, which morning after morning pours forgiveness and love on His children. I thought, "Why, the real Judas has probably ascended by now under the influence and healing power of all that compassion and mercy and love. He would no longer identify himself with the evil that claimed to possess him. Am I going to still hold him, centuries later, to his worst behavior on his most deluded day?" Jesus didn't. "Father, forgive them," included Judas, too. It seems to me that Jesus' method of forgiveness, being counter-intuitive to the human mortal response to betrayal, acted like ammonia mixed with chlorine in a closed room. It deprived evil of all air, literally snuffing it out. I felt a cool, spiritual breeze blow through my thoughts, cleaning out old memories that had clung to me like dried, dead leaves hang on a tree until the March winds shake them off.  I thought of my friends. It occurred to me that that had my boyfriend known who he was as God's good child - how good I knew him to be; had my girlfriend understood how I loved her - how much I valued our friendship; they both would have, at the very least, dealt with me directly first, before proceeding with their relationship. I felt compassion for them. They hadn't known who they were. They didn't know what they did. That was all that I needed to forgive the worst and let go of the pain of the betrayal. I don't claim to begin to the fathom the depth of the betrayal, and the great heights of the divine Love, that Jesus experienced. But I do know that every part of his story teaches us something essential about the marvelous capacity and resilience we have, as God's children, to forgive and to grow in love. Mary Baker Eddy wrote, "Christianity is not superfluous. Its redemptive power is seen in sore trials, self-denials, and crucifixions of the flesh. But these come to the rescue of mortals, to admonish them, and plant the feet steadfastly in Christ. As we rise above the seeming mists of sense, we behold more clearly that all the heart's homage belongs to God. More love is the great need of mankind. A pure affection, concentric, forgetting self, forgiving wrongs and forestalling them, should swell the lyre of human love." Miscellaneous Writings, 106 Conversation and comments are encouraged. Please jump in!
If you like what you see, share the link with your friends, fans and followers! A full-text version of this blog can be delivered to your email inbox. Please subscribe in the sidebar. You may also wish to: VISIT MY WEBSITE HOME PAGE READ MORE BLOG POSTINGS FIND A LIST OF MY OTHER PUBLISHED CONTENT  It started out as usual, - lovely turkey and trimmings, and far-flung family sitting around the well-laid table enjoying their first and second courses. Then, during dessert came a snide remark. A glass of water was tossed in someone's face. And suddenly one in-law had her hands around the throat of another in an attempted stangulation. I screamed, "Stop!" and watched as half of our guests slipped guiltily away from the table, retreating to the familyroom to hide from my wrath for the rest of the evening.
I lost my voice that night - from shock and fury - and it took a full week to get it back. But I learned some things from that dinner that have changed the family dynamics ever since. 10/28/2011 Adultery... who me? One afternoon I was rooting around the kitchen for a snack and discovered my husband's secret stash of Oreo cookies. There was a reason he had hidden them. I had a tendency to eat up all the goodies before he could have any. So when I found them, I was kind of mad. I took six of them and popped them in my mouth, one after the other, thinking, "There! Serves you right for trying to hide cookies from me!"
Well, the next thing you know, my husband's car pulled into the driveway. I was horrified. You know Oreo cookies. They have a distinct smell and are a little dusty to eat. So there I was - reeking of chocolate and a real mess - thinking, "Oh, God, I am caught. Please help me!" It wasn't my best prayer. But it was the best I could come up with under the circumstances... |
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I have practiced Christian Science professionally in some form since 1979. But my journey with Christian Science started in a Sunday school where as a young child I was taught the Scriptures and some simple basics of Jesus' method of scientific Christian healing. A significant experience at the age of twelve opened my eyes to the great potential of this practice. After impaling my foot on a nail, I prayed the way I had learned in Sunday school. Within moments the pain stopped and healing began. By the next morning the wound had disappeared completely. Having experienced the great potential of Christian Science, there would be no turning back. |
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© 2011-2023 Michelle Boccanfuso Nanouche, CSB. All rights reserved. Pages updated 2 December, 2022.