Michelle Boccanfuso Nanouche, CSB Christian Science Practitioner & Teacher
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Love drives out fear

11/11/2011

 
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Jerry Seinfeld got a big laugh when he joked about a survey that found that the fear of public speaking ranks higher in most people's minds than the fear of death. "In other words," he deadpanned, "at a funeral, the average person would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy."

According to surveys, fear of public speaking ranks among Americans' top dreads, surpassing fear of illness, fear of flying, fear of terrorism, and often the fear of death itself.

All I know is when I was first appointed to an international lecture board, I was absolutely paralyzed with fear. I, who ALWAYS have something to say, was struck dumb - and I had writer's block to boot.

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The pressure was mounting. Lectures were being scheduled left and right, on a variety of topics - and I had no prepared material. The writer's block seemed to be directly linked to my anxiety. So I took the practical step of signing up for a course at the local community college - "Speaking without fear."

I discovered that I wasn't alone.  Each person in our class of twelve was up against a deadline for a major presentation and everyone was just as terrified as I was. But there there was a lovely dynamic of support and encouragement between us.

I don't really remember much about the course except for one incident that occurred on the final day of class. Each was to give a five minute presentation. It was now one month before my first scheduled lecture and I couldn't pull together even five minutes of material to share. I was still trying to scale that wall of fear.

When it was my turn to stand up, the teacher saw that I was sinking fast. She said, "Michelle, do you know that stomach churning, head spinning, sweaty-handed feeling you have right now?"

"Yes," I said.

"You are misinterpreting what you are feeling. You think that is fear, but its not."

She continued, "What you are feeling is the energy generated from your love for your subject. Remember and focus on what you love. The words will flow from love."

That changed everything! I spoke for five minutes about what I loved and left all thought of fear in the dust.

Within the week of that final class I wrote my first lecture and soon delivered it without a hint of trouble. I remembered the love behind every word. Love for the subject.  Love for the audience. It was all about the love. It is always about the love.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." (I John 4:18, New International Version)

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Tamara
11/11/2011 12:21:32 am

Thanks, this is a great idea, love and fear can not occupy the same place.
And I think that love for the subject and for the audience brings all the qualities that one needs to make a good speech in public, as spontaneity, self-control, etc.

Michelle Nanouche link
11/11/2011 12:37:37 am

Exactly. Love also brings out the qualities of preparation, confidence, humor, punctuality, sensitivity, compassion, clarity, inspiration, light, depth, comprehension, connection, communication, intuition, and the list goes on.

Maybe others can add to the list in their comments!

TO BLOG READERS: What other qualities are meaningful to you in a speaker?

Sarah
11/11/2011 01:57:35 am

Hi Michele,
One of the first exercises we did as new appointees to that speakers group was to speak to the group about something we loved for 3 minutes with zero time to prepare. The only caveat was that it couldn't be about the topic we would be speaking on in our work. All of us spoke of something we loved: family, our hometowns, even flyfishing! The energy was tremendous - as was the freedom. Then we were asked to acknowledge how easy it was to talk about something we loved. How much easier was it gong to be to talk about what we loved most. I'll forever be grateful for that exercise!

Kay Olson
11/11/2011 03:01:18 am

SINCERITY! Thst's what saved me when I was asked to speak to large audiences.

I leaned on this idea: " Sincerity is more susccesful than genius or talent." (Mary Baker Eddy)

I knew I was sincere!

Michelle Nanouche link
11/11/2011 04:10:11 am

Super thoughts, Sarah and Kay. Thanks for sharing!


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    Michelle Nanouche, Christian Science teacher, spirituality, healing, prayer

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    I have practiced Christian Science professionally in
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