_ Yesterday’s post on letting in the light – letting it all the way in to effect the necessary changes for progress – pointed to the fact that this isn’t always comfortable. But it is healthy. I can give an example.
About three years ago I damaged our brand-new car. As soon as we brought it home, my husband realized it wouldn’t fit in the garage, but I wasn’t convinced. So, I waited until he went to work to see for myself. I was pretty sure I could make it fit. And, my first eight or ten practice attempts were successful. However, disaster struck when, on the next try, I wedged the car in at such an angle that I couldn’t get unstuck. I bashed the back end up pretty well, and left considerable damage.
_My husband was furious. I felt awful and he did, too. We both struggled for several days.
I knew I had been willful and sneaky. Impulsive “I will do what I want to” thoughts had plagued me for years. Through this crack in character I often found myself in trouble and I had been praying for some time to stop my tendency toward willfulness. This time, so upset about what I had done, I became ill with a high fever on the third night.
The thing about sin (and that is what stubborn will is – sin: a sense of being out of step with God, good) is that until we see evil, darkness, negative influence as powerless, and acknowledge the presence and light of good - and conform ourselves to the power of this light, - we won’t come out from under its supposed influence.
I needed to get a better sense of God as Good and of myself as the reflection of good only. Now, I am not talking about good as some halfway point between bad and great, but actual good - the divine attribute of spiritual soundness, a no-cracks good that is unrestricted, uninhibited wholeness.
That is where I anchored my prayer that night. In God as Good and giving me all I needed to conform to the standard of good. I simply let that light sink in and spread to the core of my being. I prayed until I felt a fundamental shift in how I saw myself.
The car was still damaged and my husband was still upset, but I forgave myself. Letting go of the idea that I could harbor a personal weakness hidden from the light of Good, I forgave – that is, I let go of agonizing over – acts of willfulness, past and present, and the belief that I must act out of willfulness in the future.
_I finally fell asleep. When I awoke, the fever had broken and I was well again. When my husband woke, he felt better, too, suddenly treating it all like no big deal. We repaired the car and made new parking arrangements.
Yes, this was a shake-up. It wasn’t fun. But what a difference between the before and after! I The freedom from willfulness – the healing of that fissure in my character through the influx of divine light revealing my spiritual wholeness as the child of God, good – made it all worthwhile.
Don’t be afraid to let in the light – and to let it all the way in. It may shake you up. It will wake you up. And it will leave you in better shape for it.
This story is also recounted in greater detail in an article I wrote, entitled "We acknowledge God's forgiveness..."
Also, I highly recommend a spirituality.com chat by Diane Marrapodi, CSB entitled, "Why should I forgive?"
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I have practiced Christian Science professionally in
some form since 1979.
But my journey with
Christian Science started
in a Sunday school
where as a young child
I was taught the Scriptures and some simple basics
of Jesus' method of
scientific Christian healing.
A significant experience
at the age of twelve
opened my eyes to
the great potential
of this practice.
After impaling my foot
on a nail,
I prayed the way I had learned
in Sunday school.
the pain stopped
and healing began.
By the next morning the wound had disappeared completely.
the great potential
of Christian Science,
there would be no