When I was six years old, this question popped up in my thought: “Would I be me if my mom and dad hadn’t had me?” An answer came, swift and unequivocal. “Yes”. I don’t remember that I thought about it much at the time, or that I told anyone about it. But I do remember that it made me feel good.
I grew up and kept busy with square dancing and voice lessons and 4-H projects. As busy and happy as I was, another question bounced around in my thought from time to time: “What is God?” I loved my church and Sunday school, yet as often as I asked, no clear answer came. I knew the Bible promise, “Seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you.” (Matt. 7:7) So, I sought and knocked and waited.
Fast forward to my college years. My roommate and I decided we would tackle the question "What is God," and keep at it until we found an answer. One night, we looked out the window into the starry night and thought. And thought. And thought. Finally, my roommate blurted out: “God is!” We stared at each other. OK. That had to satisfy for now.
Next came marriage and, in quick succession, two little boys. Soon, I was expecting for the third time. The child was stillborn. I was convinced this loss was not God’s will - though friends and family, in an attempt to comfort me, suggested that it was. The question: “What is God?” came again with blazing intensity. I told my husband: “In this whole universe there has to be a satisfying answer and I’m going to look until I find it!”
After lots of searching and questioning, I happened to come across a book entitled Miscellaneous Writings by Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science. Only 26 pages into my reading, I found the statement, “God is All, in all. What can be more than All?” The pure truth of that statement exploded through to my head and heart. ALL. I wanted to know more of this All. I quickly got a copy of Eddy’s primary work, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. It explained God as All to me.
"God. The great I AM; the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-acting, all-wise, all-loving, and eternal; Principle; Mind; Soul; Spirit; Life; Truth; Love; all substance; intelligence." (ibid. 587)
That was a beginning of a decades long exploration of the infinite nature of God as All. I still have much to learn, but one thing I am sure of: There is a link between my question as a six-year-old - “Would I be me?” - and my growing understanding that “God is All.” God, Spirit, is All, the only Creator. I belong to Him eternally as His own spiritual child. So does the babe. Pain, fear, loss are no part of the infinite All that is divine Love. None of us are, or can be, lost in the allness of God's love. In fact, when we look to God as Life, Truth and Love, we are found! Everyone is present and accounted for in the ever-present All. There can't be any sorrow or doubt in the brilliant light of an understanding of God as All-in-all.
Kay Ramsdell Olson, CSB is a Christian Science practitioner and teacher who divides her time between her homes in Raleigh, NC and Somerset, PA, USA. You are welcome to contact her directly by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For further reading on this subject, a blog posting on October 18th also addresses the subject of what happens "When someone we love passes on".
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I have practiced Christian Science professionally in
some form since 1979.
But my journey with
Christian Science started
in a Sunday school
where as a young child
I was taught the Scriptures and some simple basics
of Jesus' method of
scientific Christian healing.
A significant experience
at the age of twelve
opened my eyes to
the great potential
of this practice.
After impaling my foot
on a nail,
I prayed the way I had learned
in Sunday school.
the pain stopped
and healing began.
By the next morning the wound had disappeared completely.
the great potential
of Christian Science,
there would be no