As a single mom to a teenager, I would have appreciated a few more eyes on the scene to help keep track of my daughter. When my husband passed on, I felt like I was drowning in the deep end of the pool as a parent.
So much was happening at once. She was quickly growing up and boys were starting to call the house. The internet with instant messaging to a wide world of strangers was just beginning to take hold.
Everything was changing in front of me and fear was spinning me out of control. I couldn't watch her all the time, could I? Yet, I felt like that was my job now.
A big "wake-up"
I was standing in my closet with my ear pressed to a glass against the wall (yes, just like on TV), falling over my shoes trying to hear what was being said in the next room while my daughter was talking on the phone.
I had a brief out-of-body experience and saw myself standing there looking desperate and stupid with anxiety. "What am I doing? This is not normal!" I thought. I climbed out of my closet and sat down on the bed and prayed. "God, I can't do this... I can't do this alone."
I exhaled deeply. I wasn't alone. Her divine Parent was always on the scene even when I wasn't watching or listening. I could trust her safety to God and could go to bed in security and peace.
Then came the test
So, the next night, I went to bed as usual. Suddenly around midnight I awakened with the thought, "Go into your office now".
I obeyed the intuition and started down the hallway. Just as I was about to pass the computer room, I heard Betsy on the phone, saying, "Mom is in bed. She turned on the burglar alarm, but if you come to the office window, it isn't armed. I will meet you there."
In my head I heard, "Need to know! Need to know!"
So I walked through the computer room and into my office without saying a word about what I had just overheard. My physical presence was enough. Next thing, I heard, "Never mind!" as she hung up the phone.
Taking a deep breath, and silently thanking God for the head's up, I went to talk to her calmly about how her friends were welcome to come visit before the burglar alarm is set, but that we wouldn't want to bring guests in through windows in the middle of the night. Message heard and accepted, we could move on from the moment. We chuckle about it to this day.
I didn't feel alone. Things would come up, as they do with any child growing up. But I knew we would be able to work them through.
After putting a stop to the late night invitation to her friend, I had a long talk with God on parenting. Our divine Father assured me that parenting without fear and trusting my intuition to guide me would enable me to keep her safe.
Prayer would help me know how to nurture the behaviors and establish the mutual trust that were essential to her progress. Prayer would help me deal with any lurking parental anxiety.
In fact, I had daily conversations with her Father through prayer, to help me keep a steady, stable view of her spiritual innocence and goodness as His reflection. This daily consistent prayer helped us enormously through the rest of her teenage years.
If you ask her now
My daughter would say, "You didn't have it so bad!" And she would be right. Through the help of daily prayer, I had it really, really good as a parent.
Thank you, Father.
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